Cancer Made My Marriage Even BETTER?!

Someone recently told me that while they were dealing with their cancer diagnosis, their spouse actually wanted to leave them.  Couldn't deal or whatever...

It made me sad because it also made me really GET that since my cancer diagnosis, my relationships with pretty much EVERYONE I really care about have gotten stronger, better, more awesome... especially with my husband.

I always felt that despite how different Ryan and I can be emotionally, that since the very beginning we have had a pretty spectacular relationship.  There was never any fear of him being sketchy out on tour, whereas people I dated in the past - I worried about them being sketchy while out at lunch!  We managed to figure out the importance of communication early on and almost never had a disagreement that we'd let stew for more than a few hours, tops.  And I never had any doubt, despite how Asperger-y he sometimes seemed, that he really and truly cared about me in a way that no other man ever had.  Even my oldest friend, Daniela,  one summer in St. Louis when my visit to her coincided with his tour schedule and aswe pulled up to the venue to meet him - he reacted in a way that only a best friend could see meant "This dude SO loves you."  She saw it and teased me about how effing cute it was.

And then I got cancer.  And he started this blog.  And suddenly EVERYONE saw it.  Lie REALLY saw it.  Including me.  I saw it in ways no one else did, too.  And I am STILL blown away by everything he did, everything he said, every little way he tried to help or to "fix" me, insofar as he could.

He has always amazed me.  But through all we went through together this past year, he has truly blown my mind.

I completely feel that our relationship has gotten so much better, our bond so much stronger, our commitment to each other and to living an amazing life as an amazing couple so much deeper!  He really is the man of my dreams.  I knew it the day I met him, and I know it more than ever now.

I love you, Ryan.  Thank you.  I would never have made it through my treatments, my diagnosis, or the year leading up to it without you.  You have always amazed me and your new positivity, hopefulness and willingness to be open to all the good in life... it is more than I could have ever hoped for.

Xxo, Phoebe

Comments

Knitting Dad said…
On that terrible internal treatment Thursday, I got very clear Ryan's love and commitment to you. You two are like mom and I. As individuals we are pretty cool, as a couple we are AMAZING!!!
Mum said…
As a mother / parent, all you ever want is for your child(ren) to be healthy, to be happy, and to be loved. Thank you Ryan for loving my daughter. Thank you Phoebe for creating health in your life. And to hear your words of happiness make my life as your Mum complete.

If my parents were alive, I'd make sure they knew they also succeeded with me! I'm healthy, happy, and loved by a very special man. Life is good.

Mum
jim nelson said…
So glad you have each other! He's an amazing guy, but then, you're an amazing gal, Positively Phoebe!
Love you both...Tat Dad

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