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Showing posts from August, 2013

No Cancer = Celebrating. No Answer = Frustrating.

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My apologies to any reader who do not follow me on either Facebook or Instagram...  I didn't mean to leave you hangin'...

I had my CAT Scan on Thursday afternoon.  My folks were already in the lobby of the Radiology offices at Fairview Hospital when Ryan and I nervously walked in around 1:30pm.  Sometime just shy of 4pm, I finally laid down inside the big "O"-shaped machine.  Well, if a 2.5 hour wait seemed like an eternity, imagine how we felt when we asked the tech how long for the results and she said that while they would have them on Friday, I would probably not hear from my doctor before my follow-up appointment on Tuesday - unless there was something bad on there!  Ugh...

So, knowing that Dr. Kebria is not in the office on Fridays and not wanting to puke if the phone DID ring, I called awesome Nurse Erin around 9am and left a tearful message asking if she had any results - just so we could make it through the weekend without this dreadful uncertainty.  It was …

On fear and love and never living without either one ever again...

I haven't been posting much lately. Without getting into the details of why so much so that they would require their own entire post, I will just say that while Ryan was away on tour this summer, I was not ok. My stress level was through the roof. I wasn't ready, even more than a year after my illness, to be alone that much. I wasn't prepared to do all the things we normally do together all on my own. Especially with the added stress of the hours at my new job being so much longer than those at the job I had during most of his touring days. It was all just much harder and I felt like I was incapable of living up the the "Positively Phoebe" persona I had created while I was feeling so frazzled. So I just didn't blog. Even though the stress I was going through was a natural part of my cancer process, I didn't feel like I could talk about it. Maybe I will write more about that soon, but today's post is about something else...
Last week, I was feeling like…