First World Problems (Updated)

My friends joke a lot about having "first world problems"... You know.  My cell phone won't get service in Whole Foods.  They discontinued my favorite Urban Decay eyeliner color.  Et cetera.

Today's first world problem?  I don't think I can go to Punk Rock Bowling.

It's silly, I know, but I've practically been in tears the past hour.  Through this whole cancer thing, one of the realizations Ryan and I came to was that we both want and NEED to make it possible to take vacations.  See friends.  Make time to do the things that make us happy.  Seeing so many of my out-of-town friends at this event would have been a huge celebration for me.  Especially considering how several of those I would have seen were incredibly supportive through my shitty treatment months.  Like, completely proving to me that I have the best most amazing friends in the world.  I wanted to go.  I wanted to see people.  Hug them.  Thank them.  I wanted a long weekend away.  With awesome music and awesome people.  The perfect number of days in Vegas.  A great time of year to be there.  Everything about it I was just way jazzed about.

When I decided I wanted to go, we thought it made sense to wait and see if we could get a cheaper ticket through the travel agent Ryan's "employers" use.  I kept looking on my own, though.  I should have just booked it myself and I am SO mad at myself for NOT doing that.  Because now that we FINALLY heard from the man in charge, a plane ticket would be almost DOUBLE what it would have been if I HAD just booked it myself weeks ago!  And that double... I just don't think we can afford it.  And I hate that.

I want to justify it.  I want to tell myself that doing things that make me happy are just as important as trying to pay the rest of these cancer bills.  But the responsible adult in me keeps slapping my hand and saying "NO!"

I wonder how long I have to try to convince myself I should just say "fuck it" and go?...

What would YOU do??  Say "fuck it" and go see at least a dozen friends and bands you love and bands you used to idolize in your high school years?  Or behave and throw that tax refund at thousands of dollars of medical bills still left to pay?

Xxo, Phoebe

UPDATE: We said "fuck it," our buddy, Dan, hooked it up an extra day (which made it a little cheaper), and what it comes down to is: I want to go!  I want to see my friends!  I want to CELEBRATE!  It's on.  The remainder of the medical bills are going on the payment plan.  Tax refund is going to Punk Rock Bowling!!!


mizzjoz said…
Yay! I know money issues loom large, but if I've learned one thing in life it's that sometimes you just have to go for it! Enjoy every moment!

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