Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love Ya Tomorrow

Yep.  Tomorrow is my LAST brachytherapy.  My last treatment.

It'll be at least a month or so before the doctors can re-scan me and make sure that stupid cancer has shriveled up and died in there, but just having the constant stuff done will be more than a little awesome.

I'm still fatigued (yet having major trouble sleeping - weird) but I am definitely starting to really GET how much better I've been feeling.  My parents and Ryan have noticed it more than I have, I think, because I still just don't feel "right".  I don't feel like myself.  Everything is kooky and it's still really hard to deal with everyday everything, even though I supposedly "look good" and whatnot.

But I'm trying.

Today, Ryan made organic pancakes and super-loved, cage-free, drug-free, bullshit-free egss for brunch and then went to Earth Fare (our new favorite grocery store) and got some gorgeous antibiotic-free, grass-fed, yadda-yadda steaks (which are marinading now in a sulfite-free wine marinade) and organic asparagus to make for dinner.  After our visit to the naturopathic physician (and this cancer crap in general), we have really decided to get committed to eating better foods and taking better care of ourselves.  Protein is SUPER important to restoring my body after all it's been through, apparently, so I am super-excited to be eating better meats, continuing with my awesome butterbutterbutter/whole, un-homogenized, not-ultra-pasteurized milk/raw milk cheeses, and learning how to make fermented foods/drinks like kombucha.

I am committed.  For the first time in my life.  Totally committed to getting healthier.  To STAYING healthier.  And to living as long as I can so that I can grow as old as I can, so that I am able to spend the maximum amount of time with my amazing husband.

Happy 2012, everybody.  May this new year bring you all everything you need and everything you desire - especially health, happiness, love and friendship.

Xxo, Phoebe

Comments

Nan (Mum) said…
I've been waiting to see a silver lining at the edge of this cancer-cloud, and finally I see it shining brightly! I'm going to hold you two to this commitment, and myself as well.

I'm proud of you, Phoebe and how you made it to every treatment throughout this process - that there was never a hesitation in your strength and commitment to beating the disease. It's been an awakening as well, and has allowed us all to grow as a family (and I mean the entire Phoebe Team - family, friends, co-workers, nurses, doctors, and strangers we never would have known if they had not been traveling this cancer journey at the same time).

You are beating cancer's ass, and your world will never be the same again! Go create it as you want it. You are my inspiration to do the same.

I love you both, Phoebe and Ryan.

Mum
r'n'r-RN said…
kombucha rules.
You rule.
keep it up, love!
Aunt Nancy said…
Hooray!!! Thanks so much for sharing your ups and down and your insights on this journey. I KNOW that 2012 will be a great year for you and Ryan. All my best
Aunt Nancy
Michelle Auer said…
I LOVE Kombucha! I used to drink it every day. You have inspired me to start up again! Coconut Water is also pretty great if you have not tried it!
Heidi said…
Haven't been @ my computer for a few days so I've been catching up and - as always - you have made all of US feel better, stronger, and appreciated. You are, simply, an absolutely amazing woman whom I am so proud to know and have in my circle of life.
Much love from me - and Phil, too.

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