Creepy Dreams.

Last night I dreamed that my parents were back in Cleveland with me.  Because the cancer had spread to my brain.  We were sitting in a waiting room at the hospital, waiting to be called in for my brain surgery.  But the doctors were all running very late and so I ran home to put on my own bathrobe to be more comfortable, but ended up falling asleep on the couch because they'd given me an Ativan at the hospital.  My parents then showed up at the house to wake me and get me back to the hospital in a hurry because the doctors were ready for me and I hadn't been answering me phone.  We returned to the hospital in a taxi because on the way TO my house, my dad had wrecked my aunt's car.

I'm not sure exactly what all that means, but I woke up feeling very anxious.  As I continue to feel better, I realize that there is still a lot of anxiety there.  This morning in the shower, a panic came over me when I realized that I have no doctor's appointments scheduled for the next THREE WEEKS.  It feels almost terrifying to me now to go that long without some sort of interaction with a medical professional.  Like I have the opposite of White Coat Syndrome or something.

I wonder if there's a name for that...

Anyhow, have a great, non-anxiety-filled day!  I will try to do the same.

Xxo, Phoebe


Gary/Dad said…
In order for me to actually drive Beth's car I would have to be on strong anti-anxiety meds!!

Regarding anxiety, deep breaths, and exercise work for me. Each day is a new experience! Hang in there!
Mum said…
I'm just glad to know that, even in your subconscious anxious brain, you know we would be there for you!

Love, Mum

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