And Now... A Cancer Post

Cancer has changed my life into a series of anniversaries.  Fifteen days ago was 11 months since my diagnosis. 2 weeks ago was 9 months since my treatment ended. Last Friday was 3 months since I was officially told I was in remission.  And tomorrow is my "9 month"-ish appointment with Dr. Kebria.  Another exam.  Another PAP smear. Another week or so of waiting for the letter to come in the mail saying I'm still all clear.  And then... two weeks from this coming Friday will be a year.  One year since the word "cancer" came crashing into my life and changed me forever.

My first Cancerversary.  I think I'm going to have a party.  It's a Friday.  I have a work event to go to at 4:30pm that day.  (Drinks and bowling!!)  But after that, I don't see why I can't have some people over to celebrate.  I know some people might not think that celebrating the anniversary of my DIAGNOSIS makes sense.  Some might understand celebrating the last treatment date or the remission date.  But not me.  As terrifying as it was, and as awful as the treatments that followed were - that diagnosis changed my life in ways I still have not entirely grasped.  But they are ALMOST all really positive ways.  And while cancer is a shitty, foul asshole of a disease, my experience with it has changed my life for the better.  Made me see the positives.  Relish them.  Made me enjoy EVERY SINGLE DAY of my life.  Even the ones that kinda suck.  It's made me grow.  Learn.  Open up.  And it's made me become a better person.

And in a weird way, without relinquishing any of the hatred I have for cancer on the whole, I am grateful to it for finding me and helping me move in the direction I am moving in.  Toward a life of health, love, beauty and hope.

Thanks, cancer.  And also, fuck you.  And also... Happy almost Anniversary.

Now, who's coming to the party??
Xxo, Phoebe

Comments

Mum said…
Wish I could be there, and it makes PERFECT sense to celebrate that day! We'll have to do it again a few weeks later, OK? C E L E B R A T E !!!!!!

Love, Mum

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