Is "Legpit" a Word?

And if not, what the hell do you call the leg-crease-liner equivalent of the armpit?

Well... whatever it's called, mine are my new enemy.  Thus far, my side-effects have been mostly vague things like nausea and fatigue.  Well that's all changed now.

I was told from the very beginning that (aside from fatigue) the radiation side effects would be "localized".  The bladder and bowels would be irritated and I'd end up losing hair (not the sort one needs a Sammy Hagar wig to cover... but rather would send one merkin shopping instead) and having a sunburn-like thing going on.

Yeah.  That was putting it mildly.  Aside from the free brazilian and the four-alarm fire in my entire nether-area, I also now have horrid blisters forming in the aforementioned "legpit" area.  Painful ones.  Like, walked around Disneyworld for twelve hours in a new pair of Doc Martens ones.  Some of the blisters have blisters.  I'm not even exaggerating.  The magic Aquafor is no longer doing the trick.  I am IN PAIN.

At the suggestion of my dad, I have switched to slightly-too-big-for-me men's boxer brief style underpants.  They are pretty perfect, as none of the seams hit me anywhere terrible, and all of that extra space up front that I have nothing to put into leaves my sad, toasty areas un-chafed.  These new drawers are great for sitting still, but even the slightest bit of walking equals "ouch!".  And since I refuse to give up on my daily walks with Ryan, I can now be seem hobbling around Jefferson Park looking like I have a giant stick up my butt.

Oh, cancer.  I had no idea how humiliating you would be.  You are an asshole.  A fiery, blistery asshole.

Xxo, Phoebe


Daniela said…
leg socket liner!
Michael said…
Every day I want to pick up the phone and call you. You have done such an extraordinary job of including all those that I feel like an old friend or family member. Can I give you 2 old clich├ęs? "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger” and " God it never gives us anything that we can't handle". As part of my condition, I do get paid and the fair amount of it. What I always keep in mind is that it will pass and is only temporary. Do you know what? The pain always goes away, even if it is gone for just a short while, there is relief. I hope that is true for you as well.
Everything in life happens for a reason, often 2 reasons which are that we either have something to learn or something to teach. Thank you for being such a great teacher to me and so many others.

Jim Dustin said…
Phoebe, believe it or not, you're in the home stretch. Your post about wanting to continue work but not having the energy is a sign that your body wants your full attention. It's fighting something and doesn't want the distraction of work getting in the way! It'll be there when you're done with this stuff. The atomic sunburn. Yeah. Don't try hemorrhoid donuts. They actually make it worse with pressure going the wrong way. There are some cooling materials you can ask about that involve a little mixing with distilled water. I did this for my wife as she laid on the floor and I put some gauze soaked with the stuff to help the burns. Just try to avoid making it up yourself, because certain anti-burning agents (for like sunburn) can have contrary effects mixed with Chemo, so get guidance from the docs. Also, depending on your tolerance - you may have to take 7-10 days off of the radiation schedule if you are getting too fried. My wife did. Her bum was just too burned to take any more and they acknowledged it when she brought it to their attention. This would have been going into the final 2 sessions. She took the break and healed up a bit and then finished off. You have to say the words though, because they simply can't tell how you are doing. Everybody looks cooked to them after awhile, but if you say you might be getting overdone, they will adjust to you. It's not Frankenstein's lab after all, even though on certain days it seems like that. You are doing great, however don't feel like you have to be a superhero with a cape. Getting your treatments and letting your body rest really is brave enough to kick some cancer ass. So you deserve a break when you think you need it and they will only do it if you tell them!
jim nelson said…
Phoebe...youre amazing, and you WILL beat the shit out of this cancer. You are stronger than it is! Your great aunt, Marge Gregory called last night. Having beaten breast cancer, she also endured 14 months of chemo once a week back in 1996 for colon cancer. She was told she had 3-5 years to live. That was 15 years ago when she was 70 years old! Now at 85, she is as vibrant as ever. When I told her you were feeling ill effects, her reply was, "you mean she's feeling shitty". She said that attitude is everything, and is confident tha you are on your way to recovery. Love love love you

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